FASHION ADVICE FROM A LOSER IN PERTH, AUSTRALIA

Fuck this guy! And fuck Perth!

I’M WAY TOO SKINNY

This post comes with a bit of a story: I was going to hook up with this guy (this is back when I was in Australia, BTW), and I went to stand outside his place and wait for him to let me in. But while checking my grindr messages, I noticed that all of our conversation has disappeared except for this new message, in the image above.

He saw me outside his window and blocked me, and it was because I’m too skinny. Granted, none of you know what I look like, but this is still very exemplary of Australia’s unattainable beauty standards. They make America’s standards seem realistic and open-minded. Seriously.

NON STOP KYLIE

Did I mention I’m in Australia?

WELL THAT GOT SEXUAL QUICKLY

Shut up Ed no one asked you

AUSTRALIAN SLANG, PART 2

Another word I find people using a lot was “keen,” which I figured was the equivalent of “into?” Or “I’m interested.”

AUSTRALIAN SLANG LESSON

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about Australian culture is that people here say “what’s doing,” instead of “what are you doing” or “what’s up.” And I find this totally weird. Is it weird? Do any of you say “what’s doing” ? Feel free to share your experience with this phrase in the comments section below ~

NO OFFENCE YOUR HOT

I dunno what’s funnier, “your hot,” or the fact that this guy felt the need to clarify that he meant no offense with his unsolicited compliment.

I GUESS NOT

Yea guess not indeed.

THIS GUY AGAIN?!

When this guy choose his username “The Long One,” I think that was in reference to his one-sided conversations.

AUSTRALIAN PSYCHO

OK whoa calm down no need to lose your Vegemind.